A few days ago, I had a meltdown.
A blubbering, red, puffy eyes, tears streaming, can’t-catch-my-breath crying meltdown.
I’d had enough!
I was overwhelmed.
I had worked my butt off cleaning my house and as soon as my kids got home it was destroyed.
I was so far behind on work, but someone always needs something. A cup of milk, or a diaper change, or a snack or I needed to referee and argument. And I’m was so exhausted that staying up late or getting up early to work was not an option.
I didn’t feel fulfilled. I just felt like I was stuck in the mud just spinning my wheels. Getting nowhere.
Sound familiar?
The good news is I started to feel better after I had my meltdown. Let me explain.
#1: Release the Pressure
First, let’s get rid of the idea that having a meltdown is a sign of weakness. Any one who says that is stupid and a liar.
A meltdown is a sign of frustration and exhaustion- not weakness. Weak people never to get the point where they would need a meltdown. Getting to this point requires strength, energy and perseverance.
Combining these three elements creates pressure. Lots of pressure. Some of this pressure we put on ourselves but it also comes from our environment. Either way, this pressure builds and builds until something has to give… or we explode.
So I say, it’s better to have a meltdown than to blow up on someone else. And it’s usually a loved one who feels the brunt of the explosion and that can create another source of stress and pressure.
It’s best to be by yourself at this time add then reach out to a friend or loved one once you’ve cooled down a bit.
#2: Acknowledge Your Feelings
I feel guilty saying this, but I needed a break from my kids. I love them dearly, but they were my source of frustration.
They are young and needy, I get that. But I was starting to feel like their maid and slave. Do this, do that. And there are things they are very capable of doing, they just won’t. And often I would just do it because I didn’t have the energy to battle them on it. But look where it got me…
In acknowledging my true feelings about the situation I saw that I need to step up my mom-game and make my kids do their own stuff. If I win enough small battles I will win the war.
Also, I realized I was feeling unfulfilled because I haven’t done anything for me. Everything I do was for my family. And I’m more than just a mom. I’m a creative. I need to write, draw, sew, dance. I need to time to do what I’m passionate about.
#3: Opens Up Communication
Since I acknowledged my feelings, I could better communicate to my husband. I was able to articulate how I felt and how I needed more of his help.
It’s easy for us moms to feel like we have to do everything around the house. But that’s not true. It’s okay to ask for some help.
I needed my husband to help with homework and baths, so I could have some time to work (or shower!). I needed him to keep the kids busy on the weekend so I can have some quiet time to myself.
He can’t read my mind. I’m the only one who can ask for some help.
#4: Creates Some Clarity
Once the pressure is released, you’ve acknowledged your feelings and talked about them, it’s so much easier to find a solution. The brain fog seems to lift. You create some clarity.
Before I felt stuck and couldn’t come up with a single solution. But then after my meltdown, I was able to see some options.
I realized I could ask a friend to watch my youngest so I could have a whole day to get caught up on work. My kids and I will do family clean up in the evening so they can clean up their own messes. I broke down my own household tasks into smaller, more manageable tasks for each day.
All simple ideas, but they were lost in the fog and haze of my frustration. Once that cleared, the solutions seemed so obvious.
#5: Reclaim Your Energy
It takes a lot of energy to hold it all together. Trying to juggle everything is exhausting. Sometimes you just need to drop everything and take a break.
I have been more productive since my meltdown. I have been able to use my energy more effectively. I get my housework done, I’m knocking out work tasks and I have more energy and patience for my kids.
Don’t be afraid to have a meltdown. It’s your body’s way of releasing the pressure.
Just let it go. Acknowledge your feelings. Find the solutions to your problems in the clarity that follows. Be open to all of the ides that come to mind.
Reclaim your energy. Use this energy how you feel it needs to be used. And don’t forget to use some this energy for you! Do what YOU want to do.
If you’re just feeling overwhelmed and not at the breaking point yet, check out my post 5 Ways To Move Past That Overwhelmed Feeling.
Have you every had a meltdown? How do you handle it? What is something positive that comes from it?
Let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear your stories.